Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Textile Tuesday #1

During a trip to my local quilt shop I was apparently channeling Robert Kaufman and Ann Kelle b/c fabric from their remix line made up a big part of my grab bag.
 I stuck with fat quarters.  Smaller pieces made room for more variety when budgeting.

Blue and lime green? Whales?  Yes please.  The whales are also from Ann Kelle.
 I'm not sure that I would ever have put red, light blue and gray together, but now that I've seen them together, I love it.  It reminds me of old fashion Norman Rockwell baseball prints.  I can see it in an old fashion baseball themed nursery.  
 These over sized polka dots are from the Half Moon line by Momo.  It seems I was also on a lime green kick while shopping as well.  
And last but not least, these fun prints made it into the stash as well.   Growing up my great grandmother used to collect owls.  She kept them all in one china hutch.  Honestly, it was creepy.  Especially at night in the dark.  Like they were all staring at you, following you as you walked by.....anyway, back to the topic at hand.   I've noticed over the past year or two that owls have made a comeback and popularity and I've grown to like them.  I love the cute little faces they make here on this fabric.    And the elephants.  Trunks up for good luck!

Now, what to do with it all??  I need inspiration.

Linking up HERE!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Pintervention #1 - Valentine's Day Printables

I love pinterest. It's addicting.  It's inspiring.  It let's me live vicariously through all the creative and crafty folks out there!  Each week I hope to feature my favorite finds in a post called Pintervention (because I think I need an intervention from my pinterst use sometimes!)  This week I have a few free Valentine's Day printables that caught my eye.  Stop by these lovely ladies' blogs, leave them some comment love, and pin more of their pics if you're a fellow pinner! 
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Dont't forget to follow me on PINTEREST too!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Chevron Fever


Well, the chevron bandwagon stopped at my house and I just had to jump on!  I know I'm a little slow to catch on, but now the chevron fever has me hooked.  
 This is another baby/toddler sized blanket.  I seem to be making this size a lot lately.  They come together really quickly and I can move on to the next new thing without getting bored with what I'm working on .  It's perfect.  I used my go to yarn "I love this Yarn" and it feels super soft and great for babies.
I love the texture that the off set rows give the blanket and of course I'm digging the gray and white together. 

You can find it HERE for anyone interested in making this blanket their own. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Angel Babies

If you following my blog for sewing inspiration, crafty ideas, or family friendly recipes you might want to skip this post.  It gets serious.


I'm writing this down for a few reasons.  I'm hoping it will serve as some sort of therapy just by getting it out.  Like a huge weight lifted off my shoulder.  Secondly, I want to share how God has moved in me throughout the past few weeks.  I don't think God has called us to convince people to believe in or follow Him.   I'm sure I have come across this in the past.  Like "I am right and you have to believe in Him."  I don't ever want to do that again in the future.  But I do think God has called us to share our experience and relationship with him and let other's take from that what they will.  Let God do the rest of the work.  And lastly, if there is anyone out there that might be going through something similar to this.  Who might be struggling with the same things that I have struggled with.  If there's any chance that they might read this and find some relief or peace, then it will have been worth it for me to write it down.


A few weeks before Christmas, J and I found out were were pregnant.  We had "pulled the goalie"  quite sometime ago and this was a long awaited event.  The excitement was short lived and 2-3 weeks into the pregnancy we began to show signs that we were losing the pregnancy.  J was out of school which was a blessing because there were many trips to the hospital for lab work.  In the meantime, his grandmother passed.  It was hard to know how to help him deal with the grief with losing his grandmother when we're dealing with another loss at the same time.  Not to mention in the midst of all this the entire family (and by entire, I mean cousins, brothers, sisters and grand parents on both sides of our family and us) got a stomach virus.  Thus ensued hours spent face first on the ivory thrown.

We made it through Christmas somehow and after 24 hr whirlwind trip 6 hrs down the road and 6 hrs back to San Antonino, it happened.  again.  sudden onset abdominal pain, a trip to the ER followed by emergency life saving surgery.  What would follow, in my opinion, is an example of God's grace in my life.

I had had my second ruptured tubal pregnancy.   Five years prior, the exact same thing happened to me and I had surgery to remove a rupture tubal pregnancy from my left fallopian tube.  When I came out of surgery the doctor told me she only removed the part of the tube that was damage and left the remaining tube and ovary.  This would turn out to be vital 5 years later.  During this ER visit I had a sonogram to confirm the tubal pregnancy and rule out any other causes like appendicitis, etc.  The doctor returned saying that they could see nothing in my uterus and the right ovary was not visible and was completely surrounded by fluid which the presumed was blood which was causing my pain.  I knew what was coming next.  I would need to have surgery again, followed by days of more pain and recovery.

I would have been devastated had it not been for the unbearable pain followed by the narcotics and nausea medications.  The right side was my last good, working side for baby making and after the surgery it would take thousands of dollars for IVF to have a biological baby.  Not life ending b/c we have talked about adoption in the future whether we have bio babies or not.  But, it's still a lot to take in all at one time.  The ObGyn decided to wait till the am to do the surgery to see if it would clear itself which would be our only chance of saving the right side.  This is were things get weird and I don't have any other way to explain them than it was by God's grace.

My Dad had come to the hospital to help with L.  She ended up coming back to our house with her Grammy and my Dad stayed with me and J in the hospital.  I was in and out of awareness throughout the night d/t fatigue and pain meds but looking back I don't really remember him getting much sleep that night.  He prayed with me in the very beginning while I was in the ER.  And I'm not exactly sure why but I think he spent a lot time that night in prayer for me.  While we're on this topic, I have to say that in my experience as a child, the best thing that you can do as a Christian parent is to pray for your child.  I am 100% positive that if it were not for my Dad's prayers for me, that I would not be where I am today.  When I think about those hours and what happened while I was in surgery I can't explain and I don't have proof or evidence but I have an overwhelming feeling when I think about my Dad sitting in my hospital room.

When I awoke from surgery, I had the usual post op grogginess.  Then they told me something I still can't believe.  When they got inside my abdomen in surgery they found that the ruptured tubal pregnancy was on the LEFT side.   remember the sono? blood and fluid on the R side?  nobody thought it was possible for it to be the left side b/c that side was supposed to have been taken out five years ago with no way for swimmers to get to the egg to cause conception over there.  I was stunned and asked over and over again.  They assured me it was on the left side and that my right side was still intact.  I don't know how to explain it.  Maybe I'm just emotional and there's some logical explanation out there.   All, I know is that for me it is by God's grace that I still have the possibility to conceive on my own one day.

The first few days that followed are blurred by tears of pain and narcotics.  Losing blood into your abdomen is extremely painful then during surgery to fix it they pump your abdomen full of air so they can see everything which causes pain after the surgery every time you breathe.  Throughout the whole ordeal they pumped me full of 6 liters of saline and 3 units of blood.  Needless to say, the full effect of what had happened did not hit until I had been home from the hospital for a few days.

I'm not sure I've ever been that sad.  I told J at one point that I felt overwhelmed because I didn't know how to handle being that sad.  Those that know me well, know I don't do sad.  It's not always a health coping strategy, just how I deal with things.  I was honest with God about my sadness, but other thoughts and feelings began to creep.  Like "Why would He let this happen to me again?"  We have people in our lives who are very verbal about their opinions on children being a gift from God.  (which I 100% agree)  The devil likes to use their opinions a lot to gnaw at my walk with God.  In my head, "Children are a gift from God" turns into "God must be punishing you since he let this happen to you twice"

I struggled with this a lot while in prayer for probably over a week.  I couldn't sleep at night b/c when I laid down and got still I was no longer distracted and able to hide from it.  I drove J nuts, waking him up to talk at all hours of the night.   Our first trip back to church after this happened the lesson in class was out of Luke and was about Jesus reprimanding some of his followers for being judgmental of people when bad things happened.  He was saying that who are they to judge what someone deserves and that just because bad things happen doesn't mean it's a sign of God's punishment for something in their lives.  Maybe this was just a coincidence that this lesson would be taught our first day back but for me it was exactly what I needed to hear.  And it gave me an overwhelming feeling of God's hand in my life.  Like he was hugging me.

I know that in some ways what I have gone through could be considered pretty minor when compared to the suffering that other people endure throughout the world.  All I can say is that these days have been some of the hardest and saddest I have ever been through and that on more than one occasion God has provided for me during this time of grief either through scripture or lessons at church or ipod cast sermons.  You can read about some of the things that have helped me here.

It has been over two weeks since it has happened.  In some ways it feels much longer than that.  Some days are better than others.  I still struggle with God a lot, wanting to know why it happened.  again.  so far, I don't have an answer to that.  But I feel my relationship with L has grown and this experience has given me perspective and helped me to appreciate every second I have with her.

If you know anyone who is going through something like this, please feel free to pass this along if you think it will help.  But, please remember this is still painful for me to talk about it.



Friday, January 13, 2012

Cotton Candy Afghan

Due to extremely extenuating circumstances(read road trip to San Antonio, followed by unexpected hospital visit followed by bed rest), I have had extra time on my hands for crochet...
  For some reason I have really been digging turquoise lately. Second only to yellow and gray of course.  or is it grey? tomato tahmahto i suppose. 
  My sister says it reminds her of cotton candy.  I don't quite see that, but it's super soft and really comfy and the perfect size for a fun  little girl.    
It will up in the shop soon for any one out there with a special little someone who might need it!

Chipotle Style Cilantro Lime Rice Recipe

Have you ever wanted to make your cilantro lime rice like they have at Chipotle or Freebirds?
Here's my recipe and think it comes pretty close. Anytime I can save us from eating out is more money for us to use later for something fun, right?!

This is what you'll need:
#1. Basmati rice. I think this is the secret right here. You can't use just any regular white rice. I'm not sure why (I wish I was more culinary and new the reason :) but I don't) I've tried it with regular white rice and it's just not the same.

Take your rice and cook as directed on the package. Our family is smaller so we only make the amount recommended for 4 servings. Most times I even cook the rice in the microwave and it still turns out just fine.

#2 While the rice is cooking, take cilantro and chop it. I've used dried cilantro and it worked fine. I like my rice with alot of flavor I use around 1/3 c of freshly chopped cilantro or 1 tablespoon of dried cilantro. The great thing about this recipe is that you can add as little or as much to the rice as you want to your person taste and it will still turn out great. The most important part is that you use basmati rice!

#3. Next add lime juice to taste. I use the juice from one lime or 2 table spoons of lime juice if you buy it in the bottle. Again adjust this to taste.
And voila! you have tasty restaurant style cilantro lime rice. Three ingredients, it's that easy! You can put it on tacos and fajitas, it's even good all by itself on the side!

linking up here:

Monday, January 9, 2012

Worry

We found out about two weeks before Christmas that we were pregnant. It was not a surprise. We were both excited but I could tell that we were both cautious this time. On Tuesday December 20th we began to have signs that we were losing the pregnancy. We called my doctor and were rushed in for lab work followed by more lab work two days later. During those days there was such a feeling of no control. There was absolutely nothing I could do to stop the symptoms. It was inescapable. I talked to God alot during this time. I don't really remember much of it. Except on the second or third day I asked for His Grace. There's a saying that goes something like God's Mercy is not getting something you deserve (like punishment) and His Grace is getting something you don't deserve (like all the blessings) I probably didn't quote that just right. But at the time that I was praying for His grace all I could think that in the picture one could argue that based on my own works I don't deserve all the blessings that he has given me and all I could ask for was His grace.

More weeks have passed and we have since lost the baby. I had my second ruptured tubal pregnancy which resulted in emergency surgery. In the week following the surgery the days were a blur of tears and pain meds. Finally a few nights ago I pulled out my bible and the internet and googled scripture about miscarriage (yes i know google is probably not the most recommended source for scripture, but there's no ruptured tubal listing in the reference section of my bible :)

There were many verses that I found that touched me but the one that really struck me regarding the first days of the miscarriage was
Luke 12:25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life. NIV

It comes from a passage about trusting God to provide for you and living by faith. Initially when I read it, I want to be mad at God. I want to be mad at Him for putting me in a place to hurt like this in the first place. This was my first experience with spontaneous miscarriage in this fashion. The first time I didn't know I was pregnant and I had a sudden ruptured tubal pregnancy which led quickly to surgery and it was over before I even had time to process that I was losing anything. This time I knew what I was losing and knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. But for some reason I wasn't. As soon as I read it I began to have a sense of peace. It helped me realize that He is going to take care of me even if the road is going to be bumpy.

My reason for writing this is simple. I know I'm not the only one to go through something like this. If there's even the smallest chance that my experience might help someone else through an event like this, then I want them to be able to know there are other people out there that understand.