the women of faith tour rolled through dallas this weekend and i was there. it was an awesome experience with lost of great women, speakers, music and fun. (on a side note, spending large amounts of time with a truck load of other women is way out of my confort zone)
one of the first speakers was Lisa Harper. she talked about spanx alot, so i liked her. but one thing that she really said that stuck with me was that you don't have to be "the perfect women" to worship, follow or be loved by God. what i think is flawed is beautiful to God. i've always known this but, it never stopped me from trying. Satan uses this get under my skin. so there's something you should know. i am flawed. i have split ends, stretch marks and varicose veins. i have stained carpet, weeds in my flower bed and dusty shelves. i sin, i gossip and fall short. that's definetly hard for me to admit. but, it's ok. God still loves me and can use me.
so what? if i learn this about myself and don't change, then so what? i have to change. i have to allow myself to feel vulnderable to ppl and know that it's ok.
so what's the most volnerable thing i can think of....admiting that jared are going to have more babies. :) for most women i think this is easy as putting on flip flops. but for me it's like trying to paint the nails of my right hand with my left hand....it's hard. after losing our first pregnancy, admitting that we are trying again opens me up to that loss again. there is so much hurt surrounding that first loss that for ppl to know i could experience again is so scary to me. but i know that God is good. and so, it's out there.